Misc Memories

Word of the day (courtesy of 5 year old, Q): 
Slooch. 
Also known as move, specifically when referencing a iPhone or iPad, as in, "It's difficult to slooch the icons over to another page."
-July 6, 2012

Q: WE (referring to herself and me) are the boss! 
YOU (referring to Husband) have to do what WE say!
-July 25, 2012

Today's lesson from Q: "Convertibles have fat butts." 
I still haven't figured out what she means by it but she's quite convinced.
-July 26, 2012

Q: I dont have veins
Daddy: do you mean wrinkles?
Q: dad, you're so silly
-July 29. 2012

Me: super heros eat lots of super foods
Q: I dont want to be a boy!
Me: girls are super heros too
Q: woohoo! Give me more super foods!
-July 31, 2012

Milkshake...
Q: you better drink faster or I get all of it
Daddy: it's MY milkshake!
-August 12, 2012

I told my child that Chuck E Cheese is ill so we can't have her birthday party there.
-August 13, 2012

Listening to Q explain to her dad that "in real life, Hello Kitty speaks Spanish".
-August 15, 2012

Q comes downstairs, dressed as a witch, and hands (husband) and me poisoned apples. I refuse. She tells me, "I just shoved it in your mouth."
Me: "Why would you do something so cruel and unnecessary?"
Q: "Because I'm wearing high heels and I'm tall."

Ok, then... Apparently she's moved on from fireballs.

Dinner

Princess Q sees her plate, falls to the floor and begins to scream and cry, "I don't want sauce on my ravioli."

I tell her, "If you don't want to eat your dinner, you can go to bed now."

While she continues to scream & cry, I dish up a plate for The Mister and eat my dinner. Why should I wait until it's cold? The Mister isn't a huge fan of ravioli (I didn't think he'd be home for dinner tonight) and since it will likely take a miracle for The Princess to eat hers, I help myself to the remainder with a second helping. Seems mushroom ravioli really hits the spot when your dearest, little one is having a tantrum.

After a little over a half hour of screaming and crying, The Princess raises her white flag and gives in. She eats the ravioli proclaiming, "I like this ravioli better WITH sauce."

Yes, folks, after nearly 45 minutes of hysterics because she didn't want sauce, it turns out she likes it better WITH sauce. AND she wants seconds and by now, I've finished my second helping. There are no seconds to be had.

I break the news to her and The Princess bursts into tears. The offer of additional French-cut green beans did nothing to quell her anguish.

Luckily baby tomatoes, picked from the plants in our yard, DID.

Aug 4, 2011

Me, after hugging daughter: "Do you know what is the best thing ever?"
Daughter: "Me"

She's right.

July 31, 2011

Daughter: "Chickens want to stay alive but they don't always get to." Guess what we're having for dinner?

Daughter: "It's not real. I'm just pretending! I'm just pretending it's real life."

Princes

Daughter told me today (July 13, 2011) that all princes wear capes.

Someone needs to tell Britain's Royals stat.

Occasionally I tweet or put things on Facebook that my child does or says but I haven't been good about keeping any sort of record that I can easily access, assuming I want to at some point in the future.

***

Jun 5, 2011
Child: Daddy, I want to see if you are stinkier than me. I'm going to smell you.

Jun 4, 2011
Q: Mama, why do I have the best mommy and daddy?
Me: (melting) Why do I have the best daughter?

May 30, 2011
Child: What's this?
Me: It's a ruler.
Child: No, it's not. It measures how old you are.

May 28, 2011
Heard footsteps last night. Woke this morning to find that child had been up, walking around house in my boots. Evidence next to her bed.

May 22, 2011
Child: the clouds are peeping. You know, because they can't hold it anymore, they need to peepee

May 21, 2011
My dear child informed me that she would like a real live OWL to tell her when to wake up in the morning and when to go to bed.

May 13, 2011
Morning conversation after waking child.
Daughter: Good news, I'm going to drive to the ice cream store & eat all of the ice cream. They have ice cream cones. And I'm not sharing with you or Daddy.
Me: How is that good news?

May 8, 2011
My child, who is afraid of bugs, has decided she wants bugs glued onto her walls. And stars.

May 5, 2011
Daughter: I have a lot of children in my bed so I need more pillows.

Apr 7, 2011
My daughter has discovered the joys of ripping the heads off of some of her dolls. Oh the memories that brings back...

Mar 30, 2011
Heartbreak @ 4am: Q, in her sleep "I miss my daddy" ... soon honey, Daddy's coming home on Thursday.

Mar 9, 2011, 9:52am
Last one from daughter this morning: everyone will like our buns because we're girls.

Mar 9, 2011, 7:43am
Me: "Stop arguing with me"

Daughter: "You stop arguing with ME"

Me: "You forget that I have the power in this relationship"

Daughter: "I have fire balls"

Me, speechless. I mean, what do you say to someone with fire balls? Thank God she's not related to Charlie Sheen with all his tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

Mar 9, 2011 7:41am
It's not even 8:30 and I've already this morning has already been an adventure, starting with...

Me: u look awfully pretty this morning.
Daughter: yea, wanna see my underwear?

::Houston we may have a problem::

Mar 8, 2011
Daughter: "I am so magical"
Me, thinking: 'She shoulda been a Scorpio... or a unicorn..."

Mar 6, 2011
‎"I'll make sandwiches."
Child: "no, daddy can make sandwiches & we'll watch."
A girl after my own heart.

Feb 11, 2011
While I was putting dear child to bed she told me she wants 150 pillow pets. 150?!

Feb 3, 2011
Me to daughter after she said something particularly clever: "You're so smart."
Child: "And pretty too."
No self-confidence issues there

Dec 24, 2010
Child, after 2 pieces pie: Daddy, you need to share!
Daddy: No!
Child: I *WILL* get this!
Endgame Score: Child 2 3/4 pieces pie; Daddy 1/4 piece pie

Dec 17, 2010
Child: Will they like my George underwear?
Me: Um, yea but it would be ideal if you didn't show them your underwear

Dec 13, 2010
Whoever at Elmers deemed their glitter pens washable, never met my kid. #coveredfromheadtotoe

Dec 11, 2010
Child: are the clouds going pee?
Me: where did you learn THAT?

Nov 22, 2010
I dare say, my child seems to have picked up a bit of a Southern accent... from where?

Nov 15, 2010
I seriously could not be more proud right now.
Child, upon finding a "tree" of brussel sprouts on the counter: "Wow, I LOVE those!"
Ever suspicious of her, changing by the minute tastes, I tentatively served her 5 of the gems and... she just asked for seconds "These are so good!"

Yay! Now, hopefully she'll be as enthusiastic about the roast chicken when it comes out of the oven...

Oct 31, 2010
Child to Daddy: You're so hot I have to use my hotpad on you! (they are in the kitchen)

Oct 12, 2010
A mom's moment of pride:
Child: I think I'm sick (she has a very slight cough)
Me: Maybe you should go to bed early?
Child: I can't go to bed without eating my peas!
Me: (thinking: Let this never end).

Oct 9, 2010
Child: when I grow up I'm going to make salad in pineapple

Losing Grandpa

My father-in-law passed away recently. It's been a difficult and emotional time for a number of reasons but one of the hardest for me, is how to explain to our four-year-old that Grandpa S isn't coming back.

Grandpa S passed away late Monday evening, past Q's bedtime. I was told by a friend that we needn't say anything right away because she's not going to understand or fully grasp what has happened at this age. I assumed that and it was good to hear confirmation from someone who had dealt with this sort of thing before.

By Wednesday morning, Grandpa S's car was parked outside of our home and as we left for school, Q asked, "Grandpa's car is here but where is Grandpa? Why isn't he here?" Holding back tears, I explained that Grandpa died and we were all very sad because we loved him. She thought about it for a moment and said, "When you're dead, you don't get to eat ice cream anymore and you can't play." Soon her attention moved to the flowers hanging over a wall we pass by on the way to school and that was that.

This morning, Thursday, on the way to school, Q asked me if people come back when they die and I realized how completely unprepared I am to talk about this with my daughter. It's not difficult because she hurts, because she really hasn't grasped the magnitude of it all; it's difficult because I hurt so badly for what she's going to miss. Will she remember her grandfather but for the pictures she sees? She'll never have the opportunity to go hiking with Grandpa S, one of his favorite activities. She'll never get to know him as a 5 year old, a 10 year old or more and he won't get to see her grow. That hurts me so badly.

Q has other grandparents. My mother-in-law and parents are still here and going strong. We see them both and it's wonderful. But I grew up with four grandparents and I already miss that my child won't.

Is social media getting in the way of real life family & friends?

Good article in the Wall Street Journal, "When Twittering Gets in the Way of Real Life" by Katherine Rosman.

Bad joke but funny

I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting a joke (copyright or something?). One of my husband's friends emailed it to him and he sent it to me.

Why You Must Always Check Your Children’s Homework

A girl in her first year at school made the following drawing for her homework and handed it in to her teacher.

After the drawing had been reviewed by the teacher, the girl brought it back home and showed it to her mother.
The next day, she returned to school with the following note for her teacher:

Dear Ms Artsy,

I would like to clarify my daughter’s drawing.
I am NOT POLEDANSING on the podium of a striptease bar.
I work in a do-it-yourself store and had just told my daughter how much money we had earned from the recent snowfall.
Thus, I am merely selling snow shovel in the drawing.


With kind regards,

Bringing Sexy Back - My New Year's Resolution

I've never been one for New Year's Resolutions. I don't tend to honor them, most people don't, so why bother? If I can't think of a resolution I'm going to follow through, there's little point in going to the effort to think of one.

Well, this is the year it looks like I've got a resolution. I'm going to bring sexy back.

It occurred to me today that while my generation has made fun of "mom jeans", we have our own version: Sweat pants, which sadly, includes yoga pants. True yoga pants are more flattering and they do look nicer than Juicy sweatpants or any of their imitators but they are just as lazy, just as comfortable and just as much of a "mom" thing as sweats, so they count.

It's time we're honest with ourselves. Real, true "mom jeans" aren't really common anymore. Yes, occasionally you can spot someone wearing them but I'm not aware of anyone that actually sells "mom jeans" besides used clothing outlets (which, btw, also sell jeans that are NOT "mom jeans"). If you can't find them, a lot of people aren't going to be wearing them. Which means, moms are wearing something else and that something else = sweat pants or yoga pants.

Why are they just as shameful as "mom jeans"? Well, think about it... We wear them because they are comfortable, they are washable and they hide our ills. JUST LIKE MOM JEANS. Mom jeans are high on the waist, usually with pleats or some little extra around the hip / stomach area that allowed for some extra weight gain. Some of them even had elastic waistbands (ew).

Our sweatpants /yoga pants are even MORE insidious because they allow for continued, unchecked, unnoticed weight gain.*At least until you decide to wear one of those fabulous items sitting in your closet, the pair of jeans you were able to get into after all of those post-partum workouts, the cute skirt you bought yourself when you decided maybe you weren't going to be exactly the same size you were after the baby but you could still look good, you know what I'm talking about. You put those jeans on or that skirt, and maybe it's a bit snug, maybe it's so bad you can't even zip/button and it only gets worse from there.

Jeans are washable, pretty comfortable (you don't have to wear them skintight) AND they keep you aware.

So, I'm bringing sexy back into my household (and to the grocery store). No more yoga pants for me. No more of today's version of "mom jeans".

*Don't give me crap about vanity. People feel good about themselves when they look good. It's also not HEALTHY to gain unnecessary weight, which leads to increased healthcare costs, more illness (making it hard for you to take care of your child -- which is your excuse for wearing sweats, right?), not to mention shouldn't you be setting a good, healthy example for your child by eating right & exercising?