Emotional Mugging

A friend Facebooked on an Oprah segment and it led me to Oprah's site where I started poking around rather than doing things I should be. Procrastination sometimes can lead to good things, right?

I ended up finding an article on emotional mugging, which it turns out, is timely as I've recently met an emotional mugger.

The 6 types of emotional muggers:

1. Puppy Kickers

2. Exploding Doormats

3. Deflators

4. Secret Keepers

5. Cannibals

6. Dementors

Do you have one in your life? Or worse, ARE YOU an emotional mugger?

Prom Dresses, originally posted May 10, 2008

Once upon a time, I had another blog. Like this one, I rarely posted but even less so. I happened across the blog while cruising through pages I'd bookmarked ages ago and decided, rather than maintain that blog, in any form, I'd move some of the posts over here.

I wrote this entry back in May of 2008, seems like a world away now...

A friend of mine recently lightbulbed an idea for her 40th birthday party. She encountered some ladies at a comedy club all dressed to the nines in the best of their worst prom and bridesmaid dresses and thought it was a fabulous and fun idea. It brought me back to about a year ago when I decided to try my old prom dress on, just for fun.

I'm 37 now, so I was 36 when I attempted this feat, about 19-20 years after my Junior Prom (I didn't go to my Sr Prom).

Damn, I was small back then (same height). I know I've put on about 10 lbs each decade but I also know that I'm still very small so wha???? I was sure I'd be able to fit into it. No way, no how.

I slipped it over my hips (ok, slip might be a slight exaggeration even with the zipper being fully open) and then I adjusted it to my waist and prepared to zip.... No can do. My waist is big enough that it was wildly difficult.

I pushed onward. After all, I could just move the skin that was blocking the zipper, right? I sucked my stomach in to minute proportions and then proceeded to zip...

Until I hit my rib cage. Now, keep in mind that I cannot breathe do to sucking in my stomach -- there isn't enough room in the dress to relax as the waist is so tight, it won't even go to the pucker stage; I'm stuck in the sucked in position.

But I must zip the dress.

So I try to shrink my rib cage through strange and evil contortions. I briefly consider removing a bottom rib (hey, they did it back in the day, why not now?). Bad idea.

Finally, I come to the conclusion the zipper isn't moving up no matter what contortions I might try.

I consider a brief diet just so I can say I still fit in my prom dress. Then I realize it wouldn't be a diet, it would be an all out war on my body and health. Sigh...

It's time to unzip the small portion I was able to zip, and admit defeat.

Oh no!

All my efforts have strained the zipper. I'm stuck. I start to panic.

Remember, I can't really breathe -- just shallow upper-rib-cage-only breaths.

What will I do?

I don't want to cut the dress. If I cut it, I won't even be able to donate the dress when I finally let go of the idea I'll wear it someday in the far, far future when I become a skeleton-like 90 yr old (you know the ones I'm talking about; my body type tells me I'm destined to be there someday). Plus, it was really expensive back in the 80s. The glorious big-haired, too-much-eyeliner-80s.

I suck my stomach in 1/2 an inch more. I don't know where I found it in me. I turn the dress so the back faces the front. I work the zipper and FREEDOM!!! (Can you hear the angels sing Hallelujah because I sure did in that moment).

I drop the dress to the floor and step out of it. Defeat.

But wait...

I remember, it had to be altered to fit my teenaged body. Perhaps there's hope after all...

Perhaps, a tailor could let out the seams and I might don the dress again someday...

Happy New Year!

Another New Year's Eve has passed and again, I've made no resolutions.

I'm not terribly fond of resolutions. I've never made one that I've kept (not that I remember anyway) and it seems so pointless to resolve to do something that I won't remember a few months from now.

But... If I were to make resolutions, here are some that I'd make:

1. Find a solution for my dry eye. I'm working on this as I'm seeing a specialist on a regular basis, cruising the Internet for something that might work and trying to remain hopeful, especially since I found a calendar entry for my first "dry eye" doctor appointment -- in 1998.

2. Drink more water. See #1 plus, it's just a healthy thing to do. To aid in this process, I've downloaded Water Your Body Lite, an iPhone app, to help me track my consumption. It's not a perfect app; it doesn't take into account exercise or any number of other things that can impact a body's need for water but by increasing or decreasing your weight, you can change the amount of water the program will help you track. This is the water calculator I used to figure out my water needs. I have no idea how accurate it is and I have no idea whether it is sound medically so if you use it, do so at your own risk. Remember, it's a good idea to talk to your doctor before making any major changes to your diet and that includes drinking water. Believe it or not, consuming too much water can kill you.

3. Eat more protein. No, I don't want to eat more protein to lose weight or anything silly like that. I really don't eat enough protein for my weight and how much I exercise (specifically, weightlifting). The problem, for me, is that I don't really care for a lot of foods that are high in protein. I've only recently started to eat chicken. I do like fish but only fresh, not farmed, fish; it's got to be in season and sustainable. Red meat is out -- except for my meatloaf recipe -- and I like bacon. I do eat edamame and some other things that that contain protein but not enough so that's number 3. I've even wondered if the lack of protein in my diet could be contributing to my eye issues.

4. Exercise more. Based on #3, you might think I exercise a lot but I don't. On a good week, I hit the weights three times a week but there are plenty of weeks I just don't bother or I don't give it my all when I do. A week of good won't delete three weeks of bad. I should be adding stretching and cardio to the mix too.

5. Relax. I'm terrible at this one. Seems there's always something to stress about. I should take up yoga and it would help with #4 & #5. Writing more might help too. When I was young, I used writing as an outlet. When did I stop?

6. Learn French. This one I may actually do. I start French classes on Tuesday of this week. Cross your fingers that I'll stick with it.

7.

8.

9.

10.

I'm sure there's more but that's all I have time for, folks!

MIA

I've been heavily amiss in maintaining my blog. Odd because I used to write extensively when under stress and for some reason, I now find myself unable. Out of practice? Lack of time? Simply exhausted? Maybe just lazy (=

Probably all of the above.

Here I sit watching an ad for Land O' Lakes butter on the Lifetime channel further procrastinating as my list of things to do grows longer. But, hey, I'm blogging, right?

I think I'm going to take my glass of wine & go make some popcorn and begin to tackle some of the emails in my Inbox that have been sitting there for a week plus...

Life & House in Order

Ok, so the title isn't exactly accurate. Life in order? With a toddler and my husband? Um, not likely. But, the house, that I can handle. I think.

Our house has been in chaos every since, well, ever since we moved in. Before, actually. From the day my husband and I were engaged, our lives have been on fast forward. Within two years we: Got engaged, moved 3 times, remodeled a house, sold a condo, got married, took four major trips, ran for public office, had a baby and started a new job. Hopefully I didn't miss anything.

Now, things seem to be slowing down. Or more likely, I've adapted to the pace of a non-stop, high-stress lifestyle.

At any rate, recently I decided that I was tired of being overwhelmed with our "stuff". Stuff in piles, stuff boxed up, stuff all over the place. I'm going to organize and put our belongings in order, once and for all.

I started with the top of my desk, a two day project. After tossing past due invitations and other time sensitive but, expired, materials that had piled up, I tackled the documents that needed to be filed, shredded and put in a "future" pile (reminders to pay certain bills by certain dates, etc). I can finally see my desk. I'm not entirely happy with it as I still have some things to sort through or decide how to handle. For instance, I have a newspaper clipping about a book called"The Almond" by Nedjma --it's a book I'd like to read; do I order it now and add it to the growing pile of books I've been collecting that I haven't had time to read or do I keep the clipping for someday in the future? I should probably just order the book.

Now, sitting here at my desk, I'm tempted to tackle my husband's desk but is that really a good idea? I'm hesitant to delve into someone else's belongings. He probably doesn't even know what's there and will be more likely to sort through his things if they are orderly. Sigh. Decisions, decisions. Honestly, I don't think he'd care either way. I'll save his desk for last in case our newly ordered house compels him to clean his own desk.

My reward for a clean desktop was to take on the master closet. Anyone who knows me knows that I love fashion and putting my (ok, and Husband's, we do share it) closet in order is nothing but divine. Especially since it was mostly in order to begin with.

My list is long but if I keep at it, eventually I'll reach my goal of an orderly home with everything in its place, or close. Daily maintenance is certainly easier than putting to order more than three years of chaos, right?

Today, I'm cleaning out the closet in Daughter's room, the one we've used mostly as storage since we have kept her things in a dresser and on a clothing rack my dad made for her. Wish me luck!