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Jun 5, 2011
Child: Daddy, I want to see if you are stinkier than me. I'm going to smell you.
Jun 4, 2011
Q: Mama, why do I have the best mommy and daddy?
Me: (melting) Why do I have the best daughter?
May 30, 2011
Child: What's this?
Me: It's a ruler.
Child: No, it's not. It measures how old you are.
May 28, 2011
Heard footsteps last night. Woke this morning to find that child had been up, walking around house in my boots. Evidence next to her bed.
May 22, 2011
Child: the clouds are peeping. You know, because they can't hold it anymore, they need to peepee
May 21, 2011
My dear child informed me that she would like a real live OWL to tell her when to wake up in the morning and when to go to bed.
May 13, 2011
Morning conversation after waking child.
Daughter: Good news, I'm going to drive to the ice cream store & eat all of the ice cream. They have ice cream cones. And I'm not sharing with you or Daddy.
Me: How is that good news?
May 8, 2011
My child, who is afraid of bugs, has decided she wants bugs glued onto her walls. And stars.
May 5, 2011
Daughter: I have a lot of children in my bed so I need more pillows.
Apr 7, 2011
My daughter has discovered the joys of ripping the heads off of some of her dolls. Oh the memories that brings back...
Mar 30, 2011
Heartbreak @ 4am: Q, in her sleep "I miss my daddy" ... soon honey, Daddy's coming home on Thursday.
Mar 9, 2011, 9:52am
Last one from daughter this morning: everyone will like our buns because we're girls.
Mar 9, 2011, 7:43am
Me: "Stop arguing with me"
Daughter: "You stop arguing with ME"
Me: "You forget that I have the power in this relationship"
Daughter: "I have fire balls"
Me, speechless. I mean, what do you say to someone with fire balls? Thank God she's not related to Charlie Sheen with all his tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
Mar 9, 2011 7:41am
It's not even 8:30 and I've already this morning has already been an adventure, starting with...
Me: u look awfully pretty this morning.
Daughter: yea, wanna see my underwear?
::Houston we may have a problem::
Mar 8, 2011
Daughter: "I am so magical"
Me, thinking: 'She shoulda been a Scorpio... or a unicorn..."
Mar 6, 2011
"I'll make sandwiches."
Child: "no, daddy can make sandwiches & we'll watch."
A girl after my own heart.
Feb 11, 2011
While I was putting dear child to bed she told me she wants 150 pillow pets. 150?!
Feb 3, 2011
Me to daughter after she said something particularly clever: "You're so smart."
Child: "And pretty too."
No self-confidence issues there
Dec 24, 2010
Child, after 2 pieces pie: Daddy, you need to share!
Daddy: No!
Child: I *WILL* get this!
Endgame Score: Child 2 3/4 pieces pie; Daddy 1/4 piece pie
Dec 17, 2010
Child: Will they like my George underwear?
Me: Um, yea but it would be ideal if you didn't show them your underwear
Dec 13, 2010
Whoever at Elmers deemed their glitter pens washable, never met my kid. #coveredfromheadtotoe
Dec 11, 2010
Child: are the clouds going pee?
Me: where did you learn THAT?
Nov 22, 2010
I dare say, my child seems to have picked up a bit of a Southern accent... from where?
Nov 15, 2010
I seriously could not be more proud right now.
Child, upon finding a "tree" of brussel sprouts on the counter: "Wow, I LOVE those!"
Ever suspicious of her, changing by the minute tastes, I tentatively served her 5 of the gems and... she just asked for seconds "These are so good!"
Yay! Now, hopefully she'll be as enthusiastic about the roast chicken when it comes out of the oven...
Oct 31, 2010
Child to Daddy: You're so hot I have to use my hotpad on you! (they are in the kitchen)
Oct 12, 2010
A mom's moment of pride:
Child: I think I'm sick (she has a very slight cough)
Me: Maybe you should go to bed early?
Child: I can't go to bed without eating my peas!
Me: (thinking: Let this never end).
Oct 9, 2010
Child: when I grow up I'm going to make salad in pineapple
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