Bad joke but funny

I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting a joke (copyright or something?). One of my husband's friends emailed it to him and he sent it to me.

Why You Must Always Check Your Children’s Homework

A girl in her first year at school made the following drawing for her homework and handed it in to her teacher.

After the drawing had been reviewed by the teacher, the girl brought it back home and showed it to her mother.
The next day, she returned to school with the following note for her teacher:

Dear Ms Artsy,

I would like to clarify my daughter’s drawing.
I am NOT POLEDANSING on the podium of a striptease bar.
I work in a do-it-yourself store and had just told my daughter how much money we had earned from the recent snowfall.
Thus, I am merely selling snow shovel in the drawing.


With kind regards,

For the birds

Ever since I found this pillow online, I can't help but falling for more bird paraphernalia and today it's the Pia, Pia, Pia! bird wall decal

I don't wear shawls but I'm also loving this:

Steve Elder's work is beautiful. Buttons, pins and hair accessories, hand-carved out of some common and not-so-common types of wood.

And check out this birdhouse from S&K Creations:

Hello Kitty Assault Rifle

... because every kitty needs a gun.

I admit, I'm a Hello Kitty fan. She's cute and I'm old enough that I remember when Hello Kitty came to the United States. Somewhere, tucked into a trunk full of my childhood toys, there are various Hello Kitty knick knacks and doodads. Through a little effort, I've managed to pass my Hello Kitty fascination onto my dear, sweet toddler which enables me to feed my addiction at her expense. Regardless, I will not be securing a Hello Kitty assault rifle, for either of us...

Cheese

I love the Zyliss classic cheese grater. It's better than any of those box-style graters, IMO. Maybe it's just me but every time I grate cheese with a traditional style grater, I end up grating my fingers and / or nails -- not only is it painful but it's gross. The Zyliss classic cheese grater is easy to use and there's no risk of finger / nail damage. Yay!

It's not practical if you need a large amount of cheese but I've used it for up to a cup at a time before. Additionally, the cheese is finely grated which allows you to cover a larger area with less cheese, flavor with fewer calories.

Check out this cute pillow from @BranchandBirdie. Perfect to add splash of fun to bedroom or family room.

For a list of Oregon gift ideas and products see Buy Local, Buy Oregon post

Goat Cheese Cherry Appetizer

Over the holidays I had the opportunity to try a yummy new Goat Cheese Cherry Appetizer, using Blossom Vinegars. So easy to make and the Cherry Vinegar takes the edge off of the goat cheese, widening its appeal to people that don't always care for goat cheese. I was told the recipe also would work well with the Blueberry Basil flavor.

Goat Cheese Cherry Appetizer

11 oz Log of Goat Cheese Cut into ¼” slices 
3-4 Cloves of Garlic grated on microplane grater 
1 Tablespoon Fresh Thyme, minced
10 Pitted Black Olives, roughly chopped (or, use the same amount of fresh cherries)
¼ Cup Blossom’s Cherry Vinegar 
½ Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
Garnish with Fresh Cherries

Place sliced cheese on glass plate, single layer if possible. 

Mix rest of the ingredients in a bowl and pour over the cheese to coat. Cover and refrigerate until ready to use (1-2 hours). Garnish the platter with fresh cherries. The cheese is very spreadable at room temperature.

Serve with sliced and toasted baguettes with a few little knives to spread the cheese on the bread. 

Left over marinate makes a great salad dressing or drizzle over cooked vegetables. 

For a list of Oregon gift ideas see Buy Local, Buy Oregon post

Another stunning piece by Souchi

cool scoop back

Bringing Sexy Back - My New Year's Resolution

I've never been one for New Year's Resolutions. I don't tend to honor them, most people don't, so why bother? If I can't think of a resolution I'm going to follow through, there's little point in going to the effort to think of one.

Well, this is the year it looks like I've got a resolution. I'm going to bring sexy back.

It occurred to me today that while my generation has made fun of "mom jeans", we have our own version: Sweat pants, which sadly, includes yoga pants. True yoga pants are more flattering and they do look nicer than Juicy sweatpants or any of their imitators but they are just as lazy, just as comfortable and just as much of a "mom" thing as sweats, so they count.

It's time we're honest with ourselves. Real, true "mom jeans" aren't really common anymore. Yes, occasionally you can spot someone wearing them but I'm not aware of anyone that actually sells "mom jeans" besides used clothing outlets (which, btw, also sell jeans that are NOT "mom jeans"). If you can't find them, a lot of people aren't going to be wearing them. Which means, moms are wearing something else and that something else = sweat pants or yoga pants.

Why are they just as shameful as "mom jeans"? Well, think about it... We wear them because they are comfortable, they are washable and they hide our ills. JUST LIKE MOM JEANS. Mom jeans are high on the waist, usually with pleats or some little extra around the hip / stomach area that allowed for some extra weight gain. Some of them even had elastic waistbands (ew).

Our sweatpants /yoga pants are even MORE insidious because they allow for continued, unchecked, unnoticed weight gain.*At least until you decide to wear one of those fabulous items sitting in your closet, the pair of jeans you were able to get into after all of those post-partum workouts, the cute skirt you bought yourself when you decided maybe you weren't going to be exactly the same size you were after the baby but you could still look good, you know what I'm talking about. You put those jeans on or that skirt, and maybe it's a bit snug, maybe it's so bad you can't even zip/button and it only gets worse from there.

Jeans are washable, pretty comfortable (you don't have to wear them skintight) AND they keep you aware.

So, I'm bringing sexy back into my household (and to the grocery store). No more yoga pants for me. No more of today's version of "mom jeans".

*Don't give me crap about vanity. People feel good about themselves when they look good. It's also not HEALTHY to gain unnecessary weight, which leads to increased healthcare costs, more illness (making it hard for you to take care of your child -- which is your excuse for wearing sweats, right?), not to mention shouldn't you be setting a good, healthy example for your child by eating right & exercising?

There are some fantastic designers here in Oregon, offering a myriad of styles from tailored to softer, romantic and unfinished.

Emily Sunnell's designs scream femininity and what I love the most is that she can take items you once loved and reconstruct them into something fresh and new.

This skirt is fantastic.

Rain Rain Go Away

It's the season of rain here in Oregon. ~ nine long months of drizzle, sleet and an occasional monsoon. As an Oregonian, I love my rain. It keeps things clean and green. Our rain is soft, not hard and pelting. It smells good, fresh.

Generally, true Oregonians don't carry umbrellas but that's not a hard and fast rule and some of the best umbrellas you'll find are by ShedRain, an Oregon company.

For a list of Oregon gift ideas & products see Buy Local, Buy Oregon